Know the area. Before you buy, move or stay.
The things a listing won’t tell you: what homes there really sell for, flood and crime graded honestly, noise and nuisance sites, planning, your commute. Official UK data, read by a person against your own brief. One clear PDF, in your inbox within one working day. You’re no fool.
From £19 £29 launch offer to 31 October · Full + Live Market £39 £49
LAUNCH10 is applied for you at checkout. Ends 31 October 2026, then it's £29 / £39 / £49.Everything you'd want to know about the area — in one place
Compiled from official, open UK data, with a plain-English verdict at the end. Not a survey or a mortgage valuation — it's the area intelligence a buyer usually has to stitch together from a dozen websites, done properly and read by a person.
Your deal-breakers, page 1
Tell us what would stop you buying. The report opens with each one checked: tripped or clear, with the evidence.
Value by property type
What detached, semi, terraced and flats actually sold for here — brought to today's money, with a range.
Is the price fair?
The asking price checked against recent sold prices for that type, and which way the market is moving.
Flood risk, graded honestly
Long-term flood zone at the property itself, past flooding and live Environment Agency warnings. We say when it's low, too.
Crime vs the national benchmark
Recorded crime within about a mile, by category, against the national picture — and whether it's rising or falling.
The nuisance check
Sewage works, waste sites, industrial estates and what the prevailing wind carries. Plus road and rail noise and air quality.
Planning applications nearby
What's been applied for around the property — the development the listing forgot to mention.
Schools, stations & broadband
Nearest primary and secondary schools, nearest National Rail stations with distances, and the broadband speeds actually available.
Your commute & running costs
Real-traffic drive time to a place you name, plus typical EPC band and annual energy cost for homes in the postcode.
Also in every report: radon and brownfield checks, who lives here (census tenure and age profile), monthly weather, and a clear map. Every figure carries its source and the date we pulled it.
Three moments this report earns its keep
About to offer
You've viewed it, you're serious, and the clock's ticking. This is the £29 to £49 that argues with a £400,000 decision — before the offer, not after the survey.
Weighing up areas
No house yet — just "is this town right for us?" Order on the first half of a postcode (e.g. BN3) or any full postcode there and it reads as an area report. Torn between two? The Shortlist Duel (£39 list, £29 during the launch offer) puts both head-to-head with one verdict.
Buying from a distance
Relocating, coming back from abroad, or buying for family — you can't do the drive-past-at-night check. This is your eyes on the ground: noise, nuisance sites, what the wind carries, how the street really lives.
Selling? A seller's edition — know what buyers will find before they do — is coming. Ask to be first in line. Renting? A renter's edition is coming too: get on the list.
Choose your report
Pick a tier, give us the postcode and as much or as little else as you like, and pay securely by card. A person prepares and checks it, and it lands in your inbox as a PDF within 1 working day. Or take the £9 Instant Report: automated, checked by our review agent, in your inbox in minutes. England & Wales postcodes for now — Scotland and Northern Ireland are next.
Instant Report
- The full report’s layout, built from the postcode alone: sold prices by street and type, flood and recorded floods, crime, noise, the nuisance check, planning next door, schools, stations, broadband, water
- The sections that need you are shown locked, so you see what you’re missing: deal-breakers, the house’s history, is the price fair, your commute, a verdict written for you
- Checked by our review agent before it is sent; if it does not pass, a person reads it instead — no extra charge
- Unlock the locked sections any time for £10 more on the same order — your £9 comes off
- UK billing address only
Area Report
- Everything in "What's inside"
- Your deal-breakers checked on page 1
- Value by type and the is-the-price-fair check
- Flood, crime, nuisance, planning, schools, stations
- Your commute and a plain-English analyst verdict
Full + Live Market
- Everything in the Area Report
- Indicative value modelled for the property's spec
- Your negotiating position — days on market, demand and the asking-vs-sold gap, turned into facts
- Live comparables — what's on the market near it right now
- Rent & yield and price per sq ft vs the local average
Shortlist Duel
- Two postcodes, no house numbers needed
- The same checks on both, side by side
- One comparative verdict against your brief
- Ordered by email for now — we reply with a secure payment link
Free tools give you fragments — a crime map here, a flood map there — and leave you to stitch them together and guess what matters. Automated reports pile up data that nobody has read. Here, a person reads your brief, checks the data against it, and puts your deal-breakers on page one. You're paying for a verdict on your postcode and your move, not for a bigger PDF. Against a five- or six-figure decision, it's the cheapest second opinion you'll get.
Things buyers ask before they order
Is this a survey?
No. A survey looks at the building's condition; this report looks at the area and the deal — what it sells for, what's around it, what's planned, what the data says about flood, crime and nuisance. Get both. This one comes first, before you offer, so you know what you're negotiating on.
What does "checked by a person" actually mean?
Software gathers the official data and drafts the report — that's how it can be done in a day for this price. Then a person reads your brief, checks the figures against it, writes the verdict in plain English and signs it off. Nothing is sent unread. If you wrote us a brief, the verdict answers it.
I don't have a house number yet. Can I still order?
Yes. Enter the first half of the postcode (e.g. BN3) or any full postcode there, leave the house number blank, and you'll get an area report — the form says so the moment you type it. Weighing two areas against each other? That's the Shortlist Duel.
How is this different from the free area websites?
They show you data. This reads it for you, against what you told us matters, and tells you straight — including when a risk is low. Your deal-breakers are checked first and shown on page 1 with the evidence. It also reaches things the free sites won’t — like the planning applications around the property, and what the prevailing wind carries from nearby sites — then stitches it together and answers your brief.
What if something in the report is wrong?
If a figure we reported doesn't match what the source says, tell us within 14 days of delivery and we'll correct the report or refund you — your choice where both are possible. If we can't produce the report at all, you get a full refund without being asked why. Full detail in the terms.
When will I get it?
As a PDF by email, normally within 1 working day of paying (Monday to Friday, excluding English bank holidays). If we're going to miss that, we'll email you first.
Where does the data come from?
Official and open UK sources: HM Land Registry sold prices, the Environment Agency, police.uk, ONS census, planning registers, Ofcom broadband, EPC records, and licensed market data for the live-market tier. Every figure in the report carries its source and the date we pulled it.
Order to inbox in four steps
Order & pay
Pick a tier, enter the postcode, tell us what matters, pay securely by card.
We build it
Software pulls the official data for your postcode and drafts the report.
A person checks it
Your brief is read, the figures are checked against it, the verdict is written and signed off.
Delivered
Your PDF arrives by email, normally within 1 working day.
This report is an indicative area summary compiled from public data to support a purchase decision. It is not a survey, mortgage valuation, or legal, financial or mortgage advice, and does not assess the condition or title of any individual property. Always commission a survey and take professional advice before committing. Prepared by Jackson (a NoFooly venture): drafted with the help of software and AI, and reviewed by a person before delivery. Contains public sector information licensed under the Open Government Licence v3.0.
Terms, refunds & your data
The short version, in plain English. These are the terms you agree to when you order. Last updated 4 September 2026.
Who you're buying from
These reports are sold by Jackson, a service of NoFooly Ltd — a company registered in England and Wales (company no. 17438330), registered office 66 Paul Street, London EC2A 4NA. Questions or complaints: [email protected] — we reply within 2 working days.
What you're buying — and what it isn't
A Foolproof Property Report (prepared by Jackson — "the report"): an indicative area report compiled from official UK open data, checked by a person, with a plain-English verdict, delivered as a PDF. "Foolproof" is the product name: it means you go in knowing, not that nothing can go wrong. List prices are £29 (Area Report), £39 (Shortlist Duel) and £49 (Full + Live Market). During the launch offer, code LAUNCH10 takes £10 off every report until 31 October 2026. The total shown at checkout is the total you pay — there are no extra fees.
It is not a survey, mortgage valuation, or legal, financial or mortgage advice, and it doesn't check the condition or legal title of any specific property. Much of the data is at postcode or area level, and the report says so where that's the case. Always get a survey and take professional advice before you commit.
Cancellations & refunds
Each report is made to order for the postcode you give. When you tick the consent box at checkout you ask us to start straight away and agree that, once we begin, the standard 14-day right to cancel for a change of mind no longer applies. Cancel before we've started and you get a full refund.
You're still covered where it matters: if we can't produce your report, you get a full refund; and if a report we've sent contains a genuine factual error in the data, tell us within 14 days and we'll correct it or refund you. Refunds go back to your card via Stripe. Nothing here affects your statutory rights, including your right to a service performed with reasonable care and skill.
Your data & privacy
To make your report we use the postcode and property details you enter, your written brief if you give one, and the email address you give at checkout (collected by Stripe) to send it. As you type, the postcode is checked against postcodes.io, an open service, to confirm it's real — no other details are sent. Payment is handled entirely by Stripe; we never see or store your card details. The site and the service that stores your written brief run on Cloudflare (EU/UK edge). To draft the report's verdict, the report's facts and your brief are sent to Anthropic's AI service; a person then checks and edits that draft before anything is sent to you.
We don't sell your data, we don't send marketing, and by default the site sets no advertising or analytics cookies. We keep order records for tax purposes; your brief and working data are kept for up to 90 days after delivery so we can answer questions and corrections, then deleted. Want your details removed after delivery? Email [email protected]. If you're unhappy with how we handle your data you can complain to the ICO (ico.org.uk) — we'd appreciate the chance to fix it first.
Advertising cookie (Meta Pixel). Only if you press Accept on the cookie banner, we load the Meta (Facebook) Pixel so we can measure whether our ads bring the right people to the site — for example, how many visitors who arrive from an ad go on to run a free Area Check. This sets a Meta cookie (_fbp). We do not send Meta your name, email or any personal details (advanced matching is off). If you press Reject, or ignore the banner, no pixel loads and no advertising cookie is set. You can change your mind any time using the Cookie choices link in the footer, and you can opt out of ad personalisation at Meta directly: facebook.com/help/568137493302217.
Using your report
Your report is for your household's purchase. Share it with the people buying with you, your conveyancer, broker or surveyor. Please don't republish it or resell it — each copy is watermarked to its buyer. Our liability for an order is limited to the price you paid, except where the law doesn't allow that limit. These terms are governed by the law of England and Wales.